Dream for a Heart
by happy ametuer
Summary: Yuan dreams of Martel. Even in the midst of all that goes on in the world, he can't help but remember her.


Place yourself in Yuan's shoes and you know he suffers deeply. Out of all the characters, he, Kratos, and Zelos are probably the most very deepest.

It's kinda like Snape.

* * *

There she is. Alive and well, reaching out to him with eager, open arms. Her smile beckons him to forget all his troubles, all his tedious work, for just a moment, and hold her. Her. So beautiful and gentle, he never knew and will never know what he had done to deserve her.

She calls his name, her voice sweet and tender, filled with vibrant life, and laughs with that tiny-bell laugh as he blushes a light shade. She slowly waves her arms closer to her signaling him to come closer, to come to her. He obliges her and takes her into his arms. As she holds him close he buries his face into her long, beautiful, thick, leaf-green hair. Everything that had passed during his eternal harsh years seems an insignificant distant memory to him if remembered at all. His happiness is back.

Then it ended.

Yuan wakes up to the cruel reality that momentarily manifests as his private chambers. He groans as he creaks himself up and flings the sheets vengefully off of himself and storms to his closet to change. He pulls out usual garments that are white as snow. White . . . Martel always liked it when he wore white. She said that white made him look dashing, elegant, and mysterious (although he can't understand how she could think white as a mysterious color). He slips the garments on and examines himself in the mirror. There in the mirror is a man that had once existed so long ago. That same criticism is still there, that lone wolf preference is still there, that down-to-earth reasoning is still there, but what really matters is still missing. Yuan sighs and wraps his cape around himself and attaches it to the shoulders of his clothes.

White always has looked bleak on him since she was gone.

He gets out of the room and fixes himself a cup of coffee. Sleep, what a preposterous idea he had. Today, Lloyd and his band of optimistic fools are waiting patiently, filled with utmost worry and fret, as Altessa, a former dwarf of Cruxis, treats their Chosen friend Colette. He more than understood their worry over their companion. He had been there. He had more than killed himself over the choking agony of watching Martel wither away from Chronic Angelus Crystalus Innoficium while he, Mithos, and Kratos searched desperately for a cure. They will never know how lucky they are that their Kharlan "heroes" invented the cure to that fatal infection. That is the only thing Lloyd is lucky about though.

Tonight will be the night.

He thought that sleep would help give him an extra boost of mental energy incase something should go wrong. After all, Yuan is going to use Lloyd against Kratos for the release of Origin's seal. If something goes awry and things turn to his disadvantage Kratos will more than certainly kill him. He already lost his wife, he isn't going to lose his son again. Not through death. Although Yuan never had the chance to understand the man's pain of losing a child he knows the harsh pain of losing the one person he could ever love. Not everything could be put to words. The best he could describe his pain is that there is a ragged hole in his heart that throbbed relentlessly or dully that could only be healed by the return of that one person. That is the best he could describe it. No words could ever grasp the rest of the turbulent torture from having lost Martel.

Yuan didn't think he would dream of Martel again. The hole in his heart pounds excruciatingly at the memory of every detail of his dream. Sleep would give him an extra boost of mental energy for tonight? Ha! He might as well have not slept at all.

Abandoning his unfinished coffee, Yuan leaves his Tethe'alla base, ignoring every Renegade member except the ones needed for tonight's mission. He orders them to Altessa's home and to wait there in hiding until he calls for them again. He emphasizes the importance of obedience since this mission is, although similar to holding a tiger's cub in front of the disabled tiger's face, more dangerous than anything they will or ever could do. If they should do even one thing wrong then all their lives are forfeit. He watches as they leave with a sober air.

Yuan flairs out his wings---

_Her smile beckons him._

He dismisses his thoughts and leaps into the air for flight---

_. . . reaching out to him with eager, open arms._

He falls onto the hard snow clutching at his chest---

_She calls his name, her voice sweet and tender._

Yuan chokes back a sob. Tears that he had long thought to be emptied and dry leaks out---

_She holds him close he buries his face into her long, beautiful, thick, leaf-green hair._

His tears flow freely as his heart and mind scream against the injustice of it all---

_. . . laughs with that tiny-bell laugh._

"M-Martel . . ." he chokes---

_His happiness is back._

"_Martel!"_ he sobs as the snow falls upon him.

* * *

Please review.


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